How the University Works - an E-mail Primer (Winter 2005)
How the University Works - an E-mail Primer (Winter 2005)
i'm wrting 2 u bcause maybe u can help me w/ a problem i'm having i realize u are probly real busy but maybe u will answer this i hope u answer before 8 bcause the oc is on & I was hoping to know before then i know u said that our source evaluation worksheet was due tomorrow a.m. but I have been having a personal crisis lately namely my roommate has been trying all weekend to win espn college hoops 2k5 playing as irvine and needed my emotional support so i was hoping u could extend the deadline until monday thank you so much YOU ARE THE BEST!!! -david
Dear Dr. S,
I'm writing to apologize for my failure to deliver the chapter I promised in a timely fashion. Things have been a bit hectic for me lately, especially teaching; I'm sure this part of the quarter is no picnic for you either. I know this conflicts with the schedule we had set up earlier, but would you be able to read a draft next Monday and perhaps give me your comments before the quarter is over? I had been planning to attend the biannual meeting of the MLA radical caucus in Topeka over the break, so I'd like to have this out of the way first so that I can help formulate a plan to thwart Bush's Supreme Court appointments by issuing a stern petition in PMLA and possibly also the NY Times.
-Melissa
Jerry,
Sorry for the delayed response. Ms. "10 years or bust" is at it again. We seriously need to look at grad admissions. I digress. Here's what I'm thinking about the search. Do we "really" need to hire an anglophone specialist? Maybe we should hire a saxophone specialist to play a wailing solo while the bleeding hearts in the dept CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER.
-S
Dr. Lawrence,
My complements on your recent joke. Asking for a "five year plan" from a group of intellectuals with Marxist sympathies. Well-played. Still trying to right the ship, but obviously it's difficult when the ship has 34 captains.
-J.C.
Ralph,
The update you requested: I think the "divide and conquer" thing I mentioned is finally starting to show some results. Should clear some extra classroom & admin space for Lit-J in the near future. Meanwhile maybe we can get Comp free and clear. Can’t throw out the baby with the bathwater, right?.
-Karen
President Dynes,
I had an idea I thought I might run by you. New motto for the system: "What UC Is What You Get," or maybe “Now UC Me, Now U Don’t,” or “UC in the Sky with Diamonds.” Just kidding. But seriously, re: your solicitation of suggestions for a new color scheme to replace blue and yellow, I would suggest any colors except black and brown.
-Ralph
I know I promised you we’d get rid of the Humanities by next year, but it's looking like we won't quite meet that timetable. Perhaps you could float it as a ballot referendum? I'm guessing they have even less clout with the public than the Indian tribes, but I worry that they might hire a good advertising firm. Maybe Jacques Derrida standing on top of a mountain and then the camera zooms in and it shows a single tear running down his face? Give them this, they are crafty.
-Bob
I have an idea for you. It's called "No College Left Behind." Except we agtually leave dem all behind. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I tried to send you the .mpg attachment of this Ashlee Simpson thing but it got sent back to me. Can't you switch to gmail, for Your sakes? And besides, what the hell have you been doing this month that you didn't already see this. Oh also I was wondering what to do next. I watched ‘Apocalypse Now’ like you said to. Am I supposed to be more like the fat guy or more like the guy who looks like Charlie Sheen? At any rate I can totally make it happen sooner if that’s what you were getting at.
that ‘my roommate’ thing was weak dogg she'll totally see thru that u gotta come shaolin style next time w/ some shit like u spent all night reading the nation that's the way to go with those guys they eat that shit up thats a bullshit assignment anyway b.t.w. u just need to get used to the iso motion u can pump fake the guy and draw a foul every time aight peace im out i gotta spam block this dick who keeps asking me dumb questions
-g
